This is a tough one to handle, but you will never do it “right”!
I’m speaking about parenting here, but with all of the social media, online chit chat, and general mayhem around people trying to tell other people what to do and how to do it, you are doomed if you think you will please everyone. I listened to an IG influencer rant about being judged on the way she parents so wanted to give my take on “ways to parent”.
Being a Mom is not for the faint of heart. It is not for the weak. Most of us are just out here doing the best that we can, often in survival mode, attempting to raise good humans. I know I grew up in a very different time- we didn’t have phones or the internet and we lived in neighborhoods where kids all knew each other and played outside until the street lights came on. Things are different now and parenting is different, but there are also parts that are the same or similar.
I grew up with rules and learning (sometimes the hard way) that when you break said rules, there are consequences. My parents loved me and there were ways of conducting our behavior and doing the right thing in our family. I was taught to be respectful of adults and that there was a difference between adults and children.
Every kid is different. Each kid takes a different “kind” of parenting. My two kids are very different and I have to parent them each in different ways. We have our rules as a family, but how I react to each of my kids for things done “wrong” is quite different between the two. I took Peaceful Parenting class a while back and it was great. Some days I’m really good at “peaceful” parenting and some days I definitely am NOT! I think that just goes with the territory of being a Mom.
Discipline is tough to figure out for sure! I struggle with the “right” thing to do at every turn and sometimes it’s just a matter of being in the moment and doing what feels right. I am HUGE on kids being respectful to adults. It’s one thing to have a discussion and to disagree, but to be disrespectful and rude is entirely another. I hear kids often talking back to adults, teachers, their parents, and getting away with it as if it is normal. Adults are afraid to push back and correct for fear of ridicule and persecution. In my world, that’s not normal and my kids know that if they mouth off or argue with me or another adult, it’s not tolerated.
Many kids know that there are certain things parents aren’t “allowed” to do these days and they push the limits with adults – especially adults outside of their own homes. Discipline is a slippery thing anymore- with threats of lawsuits, people going too far, kids getting away with things in the wild; I feel for anyone in a position of “authority”- teachers, police officers, store owners, parents…anyone really. It’s not easy, but there has to be a way to teach our youth to have respect and be mindful of their words and actions to each other as well as adults. There has to be a distinction, in my opinion, between adults and kids. We are NOT the same.
So, with all of that said, what the heck is the “right” way to parent? I am no parenting expert, but I think the right way to parent is how YOU parent. Unless you are physically and/or mentally abusing your children, not providing them basic needs, and the like, you are doing alright! I wasn’t harmed by the way I was raised ( I learned that I didn’t like the consequences of some actions and I didn’t do whatever it was again). Kids are resilient and will be ok however you decide to “Mom”.
You got this, Mama! Keep doing you! Keep loving on those kids- even if it’s sometimes a bit of tough love. They will be better for it since the world is tough on the outside. Our job is to keep them safe and to make sure they are loved. You go, Mama!! 💜
If you would like to listen to the full podcast episode where I go a bit more in depth on parenting the “right” way, head HERE.
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